Elite Sniper Corps

*giggle* johnny's poor dad

Heres an oldie but a goodie for those who might not have heard it:

Little Johnny was in school on the first day back from summer vacation.

The teacher asked for volunteers to tell a story about a lesson in life they might have learned over the summer. Everyone in the class raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

"Suzy," the teacher said. "Why don't you tell us about a lesson you learned."

"Well," Suzy said, "about two weeks ago I was helped my dad milk the cows early one morning, and as I was carrying the milk back to the house, I tripped over a branch and dropped the milk bucket."

"What did you learn from that, Suzy?" the teacher asked.

Suzy smiled and said, "not to cry over spilled milk."

"Very good Suzy. Who else has a story to share?"

Once again, everyone but Little Johnny raised their hands.

"OK Peter, tell us your story of a lesson you learned this summer."

Peter sat straight and said, "Just yesterday I was cutting some pictures out of a magazine when my mother yelled from the other room that she needed the scissors to cut out coupons. So I ran into the other room to give them to her when I stubbed my toe on my bedpost and dropped the scissors and put a hole in my shoe."

"And what did you learn from that, Peter?"

"Not to run with scissors in my hand."

"Very good Peter," the teacher said. "Who's next?"

Once again, everyone had their hands raised except for Little Johnny. The teacher was starting to feel sorry for him and wanted to get him involved so she asked him to share a story.

"I dont have any stories," Little Johnny replied.

"Oh, c'mon," the teacher said. "Surely you've learned a lesson in life before."

"Well, there was one lesson I learned," Johnny said.

Excited that Johnny was getting involved in the class, she asked him to share.

"Well over the summer, my father was stationed with the Marines in Afghanistan. While out on a mission, he got seperated from his troops and was forced to spend two days out in the mountains alone. He dug out a foxhole and took an inventory of all that he had to survive. The only things he had with him were his rifle and bayonet, five rounds of ammunition, and a fifth of Jack Daniels."

After a pause in his story, the teacher asked him to keep going.

"On the second day out there, my dad poked his head out of his foxhole to see ten Taliban troops charging straight at him.
My father ducked back into his foxhole, downed half of his bottle of Jack Daniels, and put the five bullets in his gun. He poked his head back out, took careful aim and shot five of the Taliban dead where they stood. Then he downed the other half of his whiskey, connected the bayonet to his gun, jumped out of his hole and stabbed the other five Taliban dead without getting hurt himself."

Horrified at the story, the teacher warily asked, "What could you have possibly learned from that?"

Johnny chuckled and said, "Never to fuck with my old man when he's been drinking."

ROFL