Elite Sniper Corps

And that's ..... how the fight started..





One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....
*************************************



My wife walked into the den & asked "Whats on the tv?"

I replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....
************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible, I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.....
************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....
************************************
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's how the fight started.....
***********************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Bud Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look a lot better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.....
***********************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's how the fight started.....

lol and the one I gave last night, just to share with everyone else...

A man goes to the pharmacy to get some tampons for his wife. He's wandering around the store and a clerk asks if he needs help. "Looking for some tampons for my wife," he says. The clerk points him in the direction of the "feminine hygiene" products.

The man comes to the counter with a bag of cotton balls and a ball of string. "I thought you said you needed tampons," the clerk asks. "Well," says the man, "I sent my wife to the store last night for cigarettes and she brings me a tin of tobacco and papers, so I figure if I have to roll my own, so does she."

...and that's how the fight started. :-)

Good one Nightwitch......... :boob2: :boob2:

LMAO!!!!!!